You Can See Yourself If You’ll Move by Kathryn Merrifield

You are responsible for the energy you bring into this space, was what I told myself.

The second week in a row that I took my usual spot at the front, far corner in the Bikram Yoga studio where I attend class once per week.  Last week someone was directly in the corner and this week, a friend.  I placed my mat next to hers.

Both times, a woman wearing all black leggings and about three layers of long, black shirting, combined with the miserable look on her face plus the witchy wear, created an aura that leaked over her mat.  The man beside her and directly behind me, wore UCSD gear, including basketball shorts last week and this week UCSB.  He moaned and signed because I stood directly in front of him – both weeks.

Mind you, the class wasn’t full.  But I like my spot.  I was a few minutes late but I know the sequence so I can be where I want to be.  Last week I adjusted myself so he could see himself in the mirror, as the instructor advises.  He still moaned, sighed, rolled his eyes and I did my best to deflect the disdain.  My friend next to me told me to move my mat this week so he could see himself.  I didn’t.  Last week I did move it, but I got the same passive-aggressive behavior that I did my best to deflect.  I laughed at the instructor’s jokes, adjusted myself so he could see himself, not all the way and not at risk of blocking someone else behind me who would have the same reaction, or to look into the vertical seem that spliced my own reflection in half.  Truth be told, I hate looking in a mirror when I exercise but my form can get so out of wack that it’s necessary to do so.  This week I didn’t move until it was the first legitimate break time within the sequence to make such an adjustment and I knew it was too late for any more latecomers.  Why be so rigid?  Because I knew I wasn’t.  No matter how many adjustments I made the week before, the couple still spilled over with piss and vinegar.  I resolved to move once because if it was anything else than the guy’s attitude and resilient toxicity, he would have adjusted his mat.  He could have but he chose not to move an inch.

If you don’t want someone in front of you, be in the front.  It’s the simple.  If you want to see yourself in the mirror in a certain way, also move your mat.  There’s typically symbiosis in the room among yogis, like there has to be in good relationships.  An outcome if more than one person’s doing.  If nothing changes, nothing changes.  There’s always the likelihood that the man standing behind me didn’t much want to see himself as much as he thought he did so I’ll end with that.

Note to self.

#Sundayyoga #reflect #attitude #acceptance #momeconomy